Archive for December, 2006

allgrownsup

29Dec06

About six months ago, my mom hit me with a real… whopper(?) of a question. (Whopper? Apparently I am now writing to you from the 1950’s.) I talk to my mom every day on the phone; as creepy as it may sound, she is the single most important person in my life. I forget what [...]


This is mortifying to admit, and when I did it, I promised myself no one would ever have to know, but the fact of the matter is that when I started this site, I bought a book online entitled No One Cares What You Had For Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog.
I shit you not.
I [...]


Christmas has somehow come and gone already — a flurry of last-minute gravy cooking, wine drinking, ribbon untying, and Twin Peaks marathoning.
We’ve only got four days until The New Year is upon us.
Remember how, when you were little, the three short months of summer vacation would just go on forever? Friendships could be made, solidified, [...]


Sometimes, my ‘peeps’ and I like to try and pretend we are grown-ups. We’ll sit around the kitchen table, the soothing tones of BBC4 filling the background as we leaf through newspapers, pretending to be cultured and discussing current events. True to form, though, it never really seems to take very long for things [...]


Devoted, chronologically-minded readers will know that last week, I had a dental mishap. I tried hard not to care, I did, but by the fourth day I had to face facts: this level of snaggle-toothery was just too much to handle, even for me and my admittedly questionable sense of aesthetic acceptability. Something had to [...]


One of the many perks of coming from hardy peasant stock is that I don’t often get sick. (Other ‘perks’ include a set of seriously no-nonsense childbearing hips and the implicit knowledge that, should famine ever strike, I can count on my brute strength and fat stores to see me through to the other side, [...]


I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but every now and then, for no particular reason, I get an uncontrollable urge to try and channel me some Martha Stewart. So last week, on an otherwise bright and innocent morning, I cooked breakfast. I had someone over and I decided I was going to [...]


A movie called “The Net” came out In 1995, the year I moved to America. God. Almost twelve years ago. Before Google, before Wikipedia, before iTunes and Amazon; in the heyday of dial-up America Online. HA.
The Net was a Sandra Bullock vehicle: Sandra, post-crashing buses with Keanu and making mind-love with Sly, but PRE-crashing cruiseliners [...]


So, continuing on from the first installment — I’m moving to America.
After a lot of thought, I’ve decided to relocate to Austin, Texas.
So far, four out of every five people I’ve told has responded with a knee-jerk: “Texas?? WHY?”
The fifth: “Austin?? COOOOL.”
…which proves… nothing, really. I mean, other than the sad fact that only twenty [...]


Today was Rory’s birthday.
Somehow, all of us managed to pull ourselves together and coordinate our movements enough to converge at the same location at roughly the same time — quite a feat considering that between us, we had to overcome both agoraphobia and chronic lateness. The next six hours saw us getting shitfaced at the [...]